by Ian Kashani

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All songs played and written by Ian Kashani
except Don't Know Why co-written by Joris Brinkerhoff

Recorded in Portland June-September 2019
Mastered by Erik Veach


released September 30, 2019


all rights reserved



Ian Kashani Portland, Oregon

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Track Name: Japan
I dreamt we went
On a tour to Japan
We were all set to fly out in June
Just two loons with soon on their minds
Going somewhere
We sketched out a setlist on the plane
Preparing for the shows ahead
Ready to play the game
And then fuck it all up again
Arriving in the city
Lasers traced towers in your eyes
You were thinking you've won
All dressed up in rockabilly leather
At an underwear machine
A silver Honda on fire
Screaming down the freeway
We rode to the outdoor stage
The crowd was cheering
As we played all of our songs
Like we used to in the Portland bars
I want that back
You and me on a mission
Going somewhere
Track Name: Crystal Pain
Opaque windows on the skull
A mystery what lies inside
What wanders behind the glass
In whom do I confide
The body underneath
Accepts the torture that I must give
What cannot be forgotten
Now classified in perspective
A source of suffering
A conspiracy forced into dark
Offered to the liar
On whose soul it left a mark
Crystal pain
Ravens unfolding into rust
Where fear is adopted and fed
Left to rot, the wounded child named Trust
Crystal pain
If ever sanity can be restored
Then I give it to you
To hold to your breast
And I shall wish for no more
No more
Track Name: Because I Love Him
Tomorrow left to search for
The way I wish he could be
Every moment shared between us
Was one that had to scream love
It's true
With his hair all wet
I knew there was no turning back
Every girl we met would torture herself
By letting us inside her mind
Alive and well
In my heart he'll stay
The reason's just because I love him
Don't tell me it's time
To let him go
Track Name: All My Anger
To hear you crying
Fills my heart with pain
Your tears tell me more
Than you will ever say
And all my anger
All my hate go away
To know what you've been through
Is a burden I'll share
Don't throw me out of your life
Now that I'm there for you
With all my words of comfort
Because I care
I'll always stay beside you
In my thoughts, I'm sincere
You've changed how I see the world
I've lost my fear
I wish all this fighting
All this blood would disappear
Track Name: Follow Me
So attached to the past
It questions your ability
To move forward in this life
Still I hear you calling follow me
Feels like nothing ever changed
Between us in complexity
Well, in desire, the vision's clear
A lonely voice cries follow me
From the floor they reach up to you
You could somehow make them see
Who I've thought I was inside
But deep within you say follow me
The future hides its face, I sense
That masks will always come in three
Shapes of wanted, wanting, waiting for
The time you'll whisper follow me
And I'll follow you
I'll follow you
Track Name: Back Home
Good to see you again
It's great to be back
And hang out with all my friends
Back home
Where I'm from
Where everyone truly cares
Because they know
How hard it's been for me
While I've been away
Times are strange, you see
I must look like hell to you
It's good to be
Back home
Yes, it's good to be back home
Track Name: Where?
Where is life taking me?
I'm reminded of everything I used to know
I'm reminded of the dreams
I had as a child a long time ago
When you show your face
You're not taken for granted
In the name of a cause I created
Where is life taking me?
My mind and my heart are too closely entwined
In the need to be free
From your embrace that's so hard to find
Should I be ashamed?
Wherever you are is where I long to be
Because I'm lonely, I'm a failure
Where is life taking me?
You gave me what what you loved
And I threw it away
And is it cruelty that forces me
Out of a chance to stay in today, not the past
The fear of my mind spinning out of control
Is real and to be expected
Track Name: Friendship
Don't cry, I'm here
I'll always be by your side
You know you can trust in me, my friend
And whatever lies ahead
Be it more pain
I'm with you
Your tears aren't in vain
Believe me
Oh I've cried too
But then I found you
Remember how you pulled me out of the dark
I was dying, lying face down in a cave
Yeah you saved me
I never thought I'd see the sun
So much of my life I've spent alone
I was grateful just to roam
In the shadows
Now you're with me
My tears weren't in vain
Believe me
I cried for a few
But then I found you
Track Name: Like I Always Was
Maybe one day
You will show me how to dance
Like true lovers dance
Maybe one day
You will let me see
What it's like to live, to really live
I will wait for you
I will wait for you in the dark of night
I will wait for you
No I won't give up the fight
Maybe one day
You'll return to me
And when that day comes
I will be here like I always was

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